Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
