I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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