So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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