my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
