Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
