conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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