sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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