Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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