my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
