It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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