The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
