Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
