Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
