"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
