mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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