Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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