arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He shit in the fireplace
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