I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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