i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
