I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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