I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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