i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
