Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
