if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
