And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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