you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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