i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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