so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
