Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
