Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
