I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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