I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
mondays should just be called national damage control day
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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