she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
