As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
