i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
