I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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