just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize