I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
now i know why i became what i already was.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
