it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
