How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Terrible idea I love it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize