dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
