my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
