before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
