wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
