Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
