Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
