I hate your face
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
