oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize