I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
