is your mom at the bar?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
