Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
