I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
