OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
