Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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