We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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