So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
